G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

United States, 2009
Directed By: Stephen Sommers
Written By: Stuart Beattie David Elliot Paul Lovett
Starring: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Christopher Eccleston, Ray Park, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Christopher Eccleston
Running Time: 107 minutes minutes
Rated PG-13 for strong sequences of action violence and mayhem throughout

The last of the big summer movies has arrived. The Joes are here and waiting to blow stuff up and I’m all for it. G.I. Joe is one of those movies that doesn’t ask much of you. It presents you with over-the-top mad scientist villains, butt-kicking babes in skin-tight outfits, ninjas, enough cool hardware to make Inspector Gadget blush, explosions…and Marlon Wayans.

The movie stars Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans as Duke and Ripcord, two military boys with maxed-out stats who are given the task of transporting a new prototype weapon.  They are attacked on the way to the rendezvous point by an unknown enemy with bigger guns, then are saved by a secret military faction known as G.I. Joe. The Joes, led by General Hawk (Dennis Quaid) are the best of the best and take on the military jobs that nobody else can. Long story short, our two heroes join the Joes after proving themselves in training simulations .

On the baddie side of things we have McCullen (played by former Dr. Who Christopher Eccleston) a weapons dealer who wants to test out his green stuff on Paris and take over the world with his organization called M.A.R.S.  On McCullen’s payroll are The Doctor (an unrecognizable Joseph Gordon-Levitt), an evil scientist with hidden higher aspirations, The Baroness (Sienna Miller), a sexy sadist who has a history with Duke and more leather outfits than there are cast members, and finally, the ninja who only wears white,  Storm Shadow (Byung-Hun Lee). Together with their army of brainwashed  soldiers, they will take over the world unless our good ol’ Joes can save the day.

The movie was very fun to watch. Whether you’re a fan of G.I. Joe or just high-octane summer action flicks, there’s enough cool stuff here to keep you smiling. The movie is filled with action, explosions and Baroness cleavage, but they manage to squeeze in back story periodically throughout the movie so that we can care about the pretty people on screen. The dialog is full of cheese that might make you wince, but you’ll be having too much fun to let it bother you. Director Stephen Sommers has upped Michael Bay in several ways here. While Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen contained plenty of explosions and eye candy to boot, it was held back by overstaying its welcome with a dragging third act, and adding one teaspoon middle school humor for every cup of cool robot-action.

G.I. Joe is the kind of movie where you don’t need to completely turn your brain off, and it doesn’t insult your intelligence, but reminds you what summer action movies based on five-inch toys should be. If you’re able to sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy the spectacle then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.