Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Try as I might, I just can’t understand the big deal about the Harry Potter franchise. I know I’m in the minority, but to me it was always just an uncomfortable amalgam of “epic” and “cutesy” that never really clicked — basically The Flintstones with wizards instead of cavemen. But I also know that I’m totally wrong on this, and that you’ll go see this one anyway, so godspeed you, Muggle. Also note that the release date is Wednesday, not Friday — so put on that ridiculous robe and line up for the midnight showing tonight, lest you end up looking foolish.

See it if you think J.K. Rowling deserves another hundred million. (I mean, really. Her children need caviar, after all.)

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